Saturday Soup
Down in Raisin Arm last Saturday,
late in the afternoon,
Cecil's wife was getting hangry,
he's got to feed her soon.
He suggested fish and chip but she was having none of that.
She had decided they must diet,
they're eating too much fat.
"I'll make Pea Soup" she said, before Cec had time to speak.
She said she had a recipe, from Aunt Tilley from last week.
Cec is usually in the kitchen, he cooks their meal up all the time,
but his wife said she could manage,
and that supper would be fine.
He won't say his wife can't cook,
he's not saying that no sir,
well... not in front of strangers,
word might be back to her.
God bless her heart for trying to cook up something nice,
but he remembers when she made ice tea
and she burnt three pounds of ice.
So off she charged into the kitchen.
He heard clanging pots and pans.
The kitchen now on lock down,
not safe for cat or man.
"Where's the pack o'peas" she cried,
Cec said “How am I suppose to know?
I'm lucky I can find my pants, when I gets in the go.
"I put'em in the freezer"
he yelled to his darling honey.
Her face came around the corner,
she didn't think that that was funny.
Her hangriness was growing, no longer safe to joke,
and from that stare she gave him,
Cec was sorry that he spoke.
"Where's the block of margarine you brought home from the store?"
Cec didn't have the heart to tell her,
that there wasn't any more.
And he didn't think there was anything,
to watch on the TV,
so he settled in the living room,
to listen and to see.
What would it be that would happen next,
he'd see or even smell,
as his darling wife and her split pea soup,
went down the road to hell.
Then a loud blood curling scream,
like a demon from below.
She had dropped a heavy pot, and then caught it with her toe.
The language oh the language, the likes most never hear.
Cec had to go sit with the cat, and cover up her ears.
See his mother in law is famous,
for her "language" from her father,
and he's married to the living proof,
she passed it to her daughter.
So huddled in the living room, Cec and Fluffy clammed up fast,
as the "Pea Soup" Project manager,
came hopping slowly passed.
She slumped down in her comfy chair
hoping to regroup,
but he could tell his darling wife,
was defeated by some soup.
The cat breathed a sigh of relief,
the kitchen now deserted.
The firehall no longer on standby,
a tragedy averted.
So that's Cecil's adventure from Saturday,
but he could of made it easier,
if she had of asked he would of said,
there was pea soup in the freezer.